#18: If you ain't got no money take your broke ass home!

I wan't to start this off by saying one thing.  "First Annual" is a real saying.  I doubt the few people who made a big deal out of that when it happened actually read this, but we used that saying, and I have no regrets about it.

It was, in fact, the FIRST ANNUAL Theta Xi Egg Dash.  I had, with the help of my boys, organized a pretty awesome philanthropy to raise money to fight M.S.  I was, naturally, proud of all of us.  I had organized the collection of a solid number of prizes for the event, one of which was a limo ride for the finder of that particular plastic egg and 13 of their friends.

So much to my joy, my friend Kim Phan found that lovely egg.  Kim assured us that she would take her boys with her in her limo ride, and a week later we were loading that bad boy up with more bottles of Carlo Rossi than you could shake a stick at. It was, in fact, GO TIME.

I'm not going to hold any punches here.  We tore that bad boy up.  We tore it up so much that we had to buy more time just to keep living the dream.  The problem was, Carlo Rossi was still with us, and as I have come to learn he is a bad, bad man.  I'm 90% sure that Carlo Rossi and Sailor Jerry fund Al-Qaeda.

Anyway, the limo dropped us off, and for some reason I found it necessary to call my whore friend Kate Webster to get tips on how to be such a HUGE whore. I go to the back lot of Theta Xi where I proceed to call Kate.  In the middle of our conversation I lose my footing, go to grab the wall of Theta Xi, but instead find a glass window pane.  My arm goes right through. I pull it out and much to my dismay I see the tendon in my wrist.  Shit.

Not knowing what to do, and bleeding profusely, I start walking in circles.  I see someone coming and I go up and ask them what I should do.  Lo and behold if it isn't Sam Keller himself walking through the alley at that moment.  Yes, Sam Keller:

While Sam is telling me it's time to go to a hospital, Adam Bahr finds me.  Instead of telling Adam about the massive gash in my wrist and flowing blood, I introduce him to Sam Keller.  GO HUSKERS!

Adam gets me inside where Theta Xi's resident M.D. Aaron Peth sees the wound and lets out a loud "WHOA".  Next thing I know we are hauling ass in Kyle Courter's car to the E.R.

The real fun starts now. I have this thing about needles.  I don't like them.  And when I got in there I knew right where that needle was going.  INSIDE MY CUT THAT WAS ALL THE WAY DOWN TO MY TENDON.  I'll admit it, I caused a scene.  To my credit though, a mother and her small child came into the E.R. and I told the doctor to let me bleed while he went and took care of the child.  I may have had reasons of doing that, but at least I looked good at the time.

It finally came time to shit or get off the pot.  I had Ben Gilmore, Kyle Courter, and Aaron Peth holding me down, yet I still fought that needle in my wrist.  Finally an old man came in with a badge and told me to be quiet.  I told Peth that "That old security guard better shut his mouth!".  Well, turns out that old security guard was a cop who kindly informed me that if I didn't shut the hell up I would be going to jail as soon as the stitches were in.

I may have instantly became the calmest patient in the history of the emergency room at that very moment.

Turns out it wasn't so bad.  I have a sweet scar now that looks like I tried to off myself, and we get this, my 18th "best" memory of my college career.